Having a baby is a big transition for most couples and you can have relationship problems arise during this time. Here are ways to strengthen your relationship and get through this new phase of your life.
A baby changes everything suddenly you have another person to care for and spend time with, they are very demanding and require a lot of attention.
This can put a big strain on any relationship and you may find yourselves fighting more often and having different opinions on how to care for your newborn.
It’s hard momma but you will get through it, know that most relationships go through this and you are not alone.
It’s hard when you have a baby with all the hormone changes, healing and postpartum recovery along with breastfeeding and doing the housework on top of it.
Here are some easy ways to make the transition smoother and strengthen your relationship with your husband.
Relationship problems after baby
When my husband and I had our first baby together it was hard, we didn’t get any alone time and the baby was always needing something.
We ended up fighting a lot and not being as close for a while. I don’t want you to go through that so I am giving you some great tips on strengthening your relationship so you can avoid all the problems.
These are things we have done with our second baby and it’s been a whole lot easier than the first time was.
give your partner attention
Make sure to spend time with your spouse and give them your undivided attention when they are talking to you.
If the baby is sleeping you have a chance to do this for an hour or so, use this time to cuddle and watch a movie or play a game or even get intimate as much as you can while you are still bleeding.
I’m not recommending sex before your doctor okays it but you can do other things if you feel up to it.
For men, this is a big thing and something they think about a lot so it’s important to make it a priority.
You need to stay close during this transition so that you avoid pitfalls along the way.
Spend time together
Make sure you spend some time together doing something outside of your home without the baby.
Have a friend or parent watch your baby and spend some quality time together doing something other than being a parent.
You need to maintain your identity aside from being a mom or a dad and by spending quality time together you can allow yourself to do this.
Remember you are still you even though your a parent now!
Open communication
Keep your communication open with each other, talk about your fears and struggles.
You are a team this isn’t a one sided relationship and it needs lots and lots of listening and communication so that you don’t assume things and end up fighting.
If you had a bad day let him know about it and come up with solutions that may help make it better.
It’s okay to have a breakdown, being a mom is hard and with all of the hormones you are going to cry about things.
After my last baby, I had some rough days and on one of them, in particular, I was crying because the baby wouldn’t stop crying no matter what I did and my four year old wasn’t getting the attention he needed.
Needless to say, I called my mother in law and she and my father in law came over and helped me.
My husband came home and found me crying and overwhelmed and cheered me up.
If you need to ask for help, it’s a lot to handle some days. Your spouse may have to take a shift with the baby so that you can sleep.
You can share the responsibility of caring for your newborn because it took both of you to make them and it shouldn’t all be on you.
The only way this can work is by talking about it and letting your husband know you need help.
Men don’t always get it, they don’t have the same mindset that we do!
Go over parenting goals
Make sure you talk about parenting and what you see as far as disciplining your kids and goals you have.
Do you want them limited on watching tv? When do you want them going to school? Are you going to be a stay at home parent or go back to work?
These are all things that couples seem to argue over at one point or another.
Do something special for each other
This is one that is super important to do but one that will help your relationship!
Cook your spouse a meal that they really love or surprise them with something unexpected that you know they would like.
Write little love notes and put it in their lunch or even a letter to them about how much you love and appreciate them.
By doing these few things here and there you will find that you get closer as a couple and you both feel appreciated and loved.
My husband and I do this and it has brought us a lot closer as a couple and we don’t fight about stupid things.
Final Thoughts On Relationship problems after baby
One of the most important things to remember about being together is putting each other first before your kids.
I know that sounds odd and goes against how a lot of moms feel but it makes everything work better doing things this way.
You are the foundation of everything your children learn and if that isn’t strong they will get hurt in the long run.
Being a parent is hard work but you don’t have to do it alone, when you can work together it helps everything go smoother and you will be less frustrated with your spouse and your children.